How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: A Values-Based Approach to Sex Education

Talking to your child about sex might feel daunting—but it's one of the most important conversations you'll ever have as a parent. A values-based approach to sex education not only gives children accurate information about their bodies and reproduction, but also empowers them with the emotional, moral, and relational guidance they need to make informed, healthy decisions as they grow.

In this blog post, we’ll explore why this conversation matters, how to approach it with confidence, and how your values shape your child’s future. We’ll also provide trusted resources to help you start the conversation today.

Why Sex Education Should Be Values-Based

Look around the natural world—reproduction is everywhere. Even the simplest life forms, like bacteria, have systems in place for passing on life. So why is sex so taboo for humans?

The truth is: talking to your child about sex is natural, vital, and essential.

Unfortunately, many families either avoid the topic entirely or drop all the information at once during puberty. This creates confusion, fear, or shame. A better approach is ongoing, age-appropriate conversations that reflect your values and prepare your child for the changes they’ll experience in body, mind, and relationships.

Why Early and Honest Conversations Matter

Helping your child anticipate and understand how their body will change during puberty builds:

• Body confidence

• Self-awareness

• A sense of control and readiness

When children are left in the dark or stumble across incomplete or harmful information elsewhere (like on the internet or from peers), they may develop anxiety or confusion about their changing bodies and emotions. Giving them correct, values-informed information helps them make safer, smarter choices.

Knowing the Facts Isn’t Enough—Values Are What Guide Them

Many parents hope their kids will "just figure it out" or that schools will cover everything. But knowing what sex isisn’t the same as knowing what to do with that knowledge.

Your child needs to know:

• When is sex appropriate?

• Who is the right person to share intimacy with?

• What are the physical, emotional, and spiritual risks or benefits?

• How does sex align with your family’s values, beliefs, or faith?

• How does sex affect future relationships and self-esteem?

This is where values-based sex education comes in. It’s not about lectures or fear—it’s about helping your child understand the bigger picture.

Start With Your Own Values

If you're unsure what to say, start by asking yourself:

• What do I want my child to know about sex?

• When do I believe it's the right time to have sex?

• What circumstances should surround that decision?

• What risks or outcomes do I want them to avoid?

• How does sex relate to our family's religious or spiritual beliefs?

Once you’ve clarified your own values, you can begin sharing them with your child in small, meaningful conversations over time.

Even just a few minutes of clear, compassionate conversation can positively shape your child’s outlook—and their future.

What to Teach Your Child About Sex (Besides the Basics)

It's important your child understands how babies are made, but just as important is that they know:

• The emotional impact of sexual activity

• The role of consent and respect

• The importance of contraception and protection from STIs

• The meaning of intimacy and connection

• How to identify safe vs. unsafe situations

The more your child understands the full context of sex—not just the biology—the better prepared they’ll be for healthy relationships and decisions.

Don’t Worry—You Don’t Have to Be Perfect

Many parents want their child to have a better experience than they did—but they’re not sure how to start that conversation. If that sounds like you, take a breath. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. You just need to be willing to start.

Whether your goal is to help your child:

• Wait until they’re older

• Wait for a committed relationship

• Understand sex in the context of your faith

• Use protection and practice safe sex

...your values matter. And your child wants to hear them from you, even if they don’t show it right away.

Ready to Talk? Get the Free Step-by-Step Guide

If you're ready to have this important conversation but need some help getting started, I’ve created a free guide to walk you through it—step-by-step. It’s designed to help you feel prepared, confident, and clear about what you want to share with your child.

👉 Download the free guide here

You’ll learn how to:

• Start the conversation at any age

• Share your values in a way your child will understand

• Talk about puberty, reproduction, intimacy, and more—without fear

Final Thoughts

Sex education is more than a one-time talk—it’s a conversation that grows with your child. When you lead with love and values, you give your child the foundation they need to thrive—physically, emotionally, and relationally.

Your voice matters. Your values matter. And your child is listening.