What Boomers Never Got: Why Sex Ed Varies by Sibling—and Why It Shouldn't

Sex education in the U.S. has always been patchy—but for the Boomer generation, it was practically nonexistent. And when it did happen, it often looked wildly different from child to child—even within the same family.

I realized just how deep this gap ran during a recent girls' weekend that my mom took with her two younger sisters and cousin. The beach trip became the perfect opportunity for me to ask a question that had been on my mind:
What kind of sex education did you get growing up?

Their stories left me speechless.

A Generational Silence: What Sex Ed Looked Like for the Boomers

When my mom was a teenager, she was handed a book. Not a helpful, illustrated, age-appropriate guide—but a literal encyclopedia. No images. No cartoons. Just a dry definition of reproduction.

Then, as she neared high school graduation, my grandmother shared one personal anecdote. It was vague: something about once making out with her boyfriend on the couch and feeling "tempted." Tempted to do what? No explanation. No follow-up.

Her sisters fared even worse.

• One sister got nothing at all—no book, no story, not even a conversation.

• Another was simply told to “read the encyclopedia.”

• Their brother, however, had a very different experience. Expectations were clearer, values were discussed, and freedoms were greater.

The contrast was glaring—and it made one thing very clear:

Sex education isn’t just generational. It’s personal. It’s inconsistent. And in many families, it’s unequal.

Unequal Sex Ed: The Sibling Divide

It’s easy to talk about how Boomers were raised by the Greatest Generation, who were raised by Victorians—people for whom sex was often considered taboo or even shameful.

But there’s another layer to this:
The way sex education differs between siblings.

This issue still persists today. Often, the oldest child is treated with formality and caution. The middle child may get some hand-me-down advice. The youngest may overhear things or be left to piece it together from older siblings or the internet. And across gender lines, the contrast is even sharper.

This unequal education can leave deep gaps—some kids grow up without understanding their own bodies, boundaries, or emotional needs in relationships.

“Be Good” Isn’t Enough

For many young women growing up in the 1950s and 60s, sex education was summed up in two words:
“Be good.”

No one explained what that actually meant—no guidelines, no context, no conversation. But if a girl became pregnant or made a decision adults disapproved of, the disappointment was immense.

Moral expectations without clarity = confusion, fear, and shame.

We cannot let this happen to our kids.

What Worked—and What Was Missing

I was fortunate. Unlike my mom and her sisters, my own parents and grandparents were open about sex. Not awkward. Not shameful. Just honest and loving.

They talked to me about:

• The importance of intimacy within a committed relationship

• Why waiting for the right person mattered

• How sex could be meaningful, joyful, and sacred

They layered these conversations throughout my life—not all at once. And because of that, I didn’t feel awkward or afraid. I felt deeply cared for.

That’s what I want to pass on to my own kids. And that’s what I want to help you pass on to yours.

How to Make Sex Education Equal, Intentional, and Values-Based

Whether you're parenting one child or five, your responsibility is the same:
To make sure each one receives a strong foundation of facts and values.

Here’s how to start:

✅ Reflect on What You Were Taught

• What was helpful?

• What was missing?

• What would you do differently?

✅ Clarify the Values You Want to Pass On

• What do you want your kids to understand about sex, relationships, intimacy, consent, and safety?

• Are there cultural, moral, or faith-based beliefs that shape your perspective?

✅ Create Consistency Across Conversations

• Don’t assume older kids will pass it on.

• Don’t skip conversations with boys.

• Make sure each child receives your voice, your values, and your guidance.

✅ Let the Core Message Be: “I Love You”

• Sex education is not about control.

• It’s about care, connection, and helping your child thrive.

Ready to Talk? I Can Help.

If you’re ready to talk to your kids about sex in a way that’s honest, loving, and aligned with your values, I’ve created tools to make it easy and intentional.

👉 Explore my free step-by-step guide here
You'll get everything you need to start the conversation, no matter your child’s age or your own comfort level.

Final Thoughts

We can’t rewrite the past. But we can shape the future. Your children deserve better than an outdated book or a vague “be good.” They deserve a real conversation—rooted in love, values, and wisdom.

So take a moment to think:

• What legacy do you want to leave?

• What do you want your children to remember about the way you talked about sex?

Because those conversations can change everything.