What If My Child Isn’t Asking About Sex? Should I Bring It Up?

As parents, we often feel like we should wait for our children to ask about sex before we dive into the conversation. "When they ask, I’ll answer," we think. But what happens when your child isn’t asking those questions? Does that mean they don’t need to know? Should you wait, or should you bring it up?

The short answer? No, you shouldn't wait. And here's why.

 Why Waiting for Your Child to Ask About Sex Isn’t Enough

There’s a common misconception that talking about sex or puberty too early could make kids curious or even encourage them to act before they’re ready. This belief often leads parents to avoid initiating the conversation. But in reality, delaying the talk can leave your child unprepared for the challenges of growing up.

What happens when kids don’t ask questions?
They may still have questions, but they’re likely going to look for answers elsewhere—often in places that aren’t reliable or healthy. Without the proper guidance, they might find information that’s inaccurate, misleading, or even harmful.

The Importance of Proactive Sex Education

Here’s the thing: Sex education is foundational, and it’s not just about teaching kids how to prevent pregnancy or avoid sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It’s about providing them with the tools and knowledge to make informed, respectful, and safe decisions as they grow up.

By waiting for your child to ask questions, you’re missing out on an important opportunity to:

1. Establish Trust
   If you wait until your child is asking questions, they might feel uncomfortable or even embarrassed. But when you initiate the conversation, you’re demonstrating that you’re a safe person to talk to about sensitive topics. When kids know they can come to you with anything, it fosters trust and deepens your relationship.

2. Provide Factual Information
   Your child’s curiosity will likely lead them to ask peers, search online, or turn to other sources. Many of these resources might not provide the full picture, leaving out crucial facts or offering misinformation. By talking to them first, you ensure that they’re receiving accurate, factual, and age-appropriate information from you, their trusted guide.

3. Empower Your Child
   Providing your child with the knowledge they need helps them understand their bodies, emotions, and the choices that come with growing up. By talking about sex early on, you’re helping them feel more comfortable and confident in navigating the changes in their body and relationships as they mature.

 How to Start the Conversation, Even If They’re Not Asking

You might be wondering, “How do I bring it up if they’re not asking?” It can feel awkward, but remember that it’s normal for parents to be proactive when it comes to their child’s education.

Here are a few tips to initiate the conversation:

1. Use “Teachable Moments”
   A lot of kids' questions come up in day-to-day life—whether it's watching a TV show or reading a book. These moments are a great opportunity to open up the conversation in a natural, low-pressure way.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions
   Instead of waiting for your child to ask you a question, you can ask open-ended questions like, “What have you heard about puberty?” or “Do you have any questions about how your body is changing?” This invites them to share their thoughts, fears, or confusion without putting them on the spot.

3. Normalize the Topic
   Let your child know that sex education is something that will be talked about at different stages of their life. When they’re younger, it might be about body parts and boundaries, and as they get older, it will include more complex topics about relationships and consent. Reassure them that this is a normal, ongoing conversation that doesn’t need to be rushed.

Feeling Unsure? Let Us Help You with the Clarify Starter Bundle

If you’re feeling unsure about how to begin, you’re not alone. Many parents struggle with how to make sex education a comfortable and meaningful conversation.

That’s why we created the Clarify Sex Education Starter Bundle—a free resource that equips parents with the tools and guidance they need to start and continue these important conversations with their kids. It includes:

• Step-by-step guides for different age groups 

• Tips on answering tricky questions

• Real-life conversation starters that make the discussion easier

• How to keep the conversation going as your child grows

👉 Download your free Clarify Sex Education Starter Bundle here 

You Don’t Have to Wait for Them to Ask

Talking about sex doesn’t have to be awkward or intimidating. The earlier you start, the more comfortable and confident your child will feel when it’s time to navigate their body changes, relationships, and decisions. By providing them with the tools and knowledge they need, you empower them to make informed choices and grow up with a healthy understanding of themselves and the world around them.

So, don’t wait for them to ask. Be the one they turn to.